Time will break the winds that flow into segments to remember but never a whole..where you feel your whole life was spent with the wind..spent whirling and dancing in them...and it hides you from so much in between those segments..those times of silence when not a word is passed...and none understood...for i lay incapable of predicting your past...though i may be able to understand its aftermath.

I feel like blabbing today, i know i havnt updated in like ages but wtf, whats the point..id rather post at gothic...place poetry home...

Anyhow..i slept all of last night..rather dint sleep with this amazingly dreadful feeling which i dint realy feel as strongly last night as i do now somehow.

its just things are changing and i dont want them to..id tell you what exactly is changing but i dont know..what hasnt changed however is the fact that i dont have my gray boy ...i feel like putting a sad smiley here but i fear it will make my blog looked very unpolished..or something.

And i miss her you know..i miss him too...so much and i just keep fearing i wont see them again and will have to take that jump off the terrace place after all...the place the only place where i can feel such a strong connection to that that arfgmmg why did they have to leave me..america is totally overhyped really..and sucks pretty bad too..for me atleast..hrmmmm...and you know what sucks more?? do you?? coz i obviously dont..

ive spent almost eveynight on the terrace..sometimes alone sometimes with some boy and blared the music so between that i could talk to you through the stars when i couldnt see the moon in front of me...and i dint mind sitting on that edge and rolling off seven floors while i was talking to you..it would be worth it..more worth it if you were sitting on that ledge with me though..

and i keep wondering if im shallow..i really know deep down that i am..but i still try to persuade myself into thinking that i aint...or so..

i hate me...right now...come back home please.

Levitate...

Break me as I lay amidst the waves,
crashing and sailing,
through the static noises in my head,
torn apart, to a home, so pristine,
a place , a life id never belong to...
Ah! if only my blood were even as pure as your mucky sand.

Haunt me till i cannot remember, cannot feel my feet,
as i run past making footprints all over your soul,
only to be washed away from its memory without a trace,
and let me fall and drag me in,
so i wouldnt run and dance anymore.

Pierce me as i stand there numb,
with bruises tingling with your saline touch
yet still not conscious of what I've done.

Free me, till i see the light,and transform,
from being the mist on your waves,
to nothing at all.

Swallow me whole, tasteless though i may be,
But as hard as you may try,
I'l still live, I'l still live,
To walk towards the sun,
To feel you sink into me once again..
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And all i long for you is to take me home..

Smoke...

Fingers crawl around a lone cigarette,
Still lit still as toxic
As before he spat it out,
And as the smoke engulfs her
She can hear the sound
Of him rushing out the creaking gates.

Angry and afraid,
But she couldn’t care less
Enchanted, as she holds it within her palms,
Sleek and beautiful,
Like a lil torch lit up,
like fire in her palms,
And drawing it closer to her lips, she coughs,
Confused worried about poisoning her body,

A body still virgin to the fumes,
Still virgin to the alcohol induced high,
Still virgin to dreams and joy drugged in,
Still virgin to him.

And she wonders if she’d get the same pleasure
From the cigarette as it received from his lips,
Toying, upset, she clutches her fist,
And burns a hole through,
Shrieks, as she throws it to the floor
,And crawls away to the end of the room.,
Far , far away from it,
Afraid, she shivers and cries,
Still a virgin, still a child,
Who isn’t quite yet ready to grow,
foolish and ignorant,
But she knows now,
That, that kiss isn’t worth the pain.

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Transparent...

A Life,Like waves of ether, a mirror devoid of tint,
Not the empty glass bottle, but the air contained within.
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A Week

Day 1 : Lust
Besotten by geisha dreams, eyes flitter in the mist,lips cold and bare,so empty,yearn for the vipers kiss.

Day 2 : Aria
Feet swing around in circles,longing for the chimes song,tunes floating in blank spaces,the oceans play along.

Day 3: Mirror
Untouched a clear reflection,eyes blank with lives to hide,Lips brown and gray with ashes,of unspoken words which died.

Day 4: Lonliness
Bored eyed, they long for company,scan empty halls in vain,fingers crawl searching windows,for a hole to let in the rain.

Day 5: Anger
Screams through angry shivers,pills escape her hold,Crash!breaks an ugly mirror,falls unconcious on the floor.

Day 6 : Wind
Sitting by a barred doorway,tingles each hair each inch,like a body trying to hold her, she backs away unconvinced.

Day 7: Happy
Body pale and covered in chalk,sitting crosslegged on the floor,drawing lines and circles excited, unable to escape its lure.

Dreams that roll like water,
a kite that floats through seas,
her weeks are crawling by,
she waits for sweet release.

Counting stars and grading shine,
so happy it'd be a sin,
to her the worlds just a story,
that hasn't quite sunk in.
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